Finding Belonging

 I recently immersed myself in the pages of the cozy fantasy Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Fairies (book review linked here). Emily Wilde herself is a breath of fresh air as a unique female protagonist in the fantasy realm. She possesses a delightful social awkwardness that adds to her charm, making her all the more endearing. It's no wonder she finds it a bit challenging to forge friendships; perhaps this is what draws her into the enchanting world of fairies. In the book, Emily captures her feelings in her journal: "The Folk were of another world, with its own rules and customs--and to a child who always felt ill-suited to her own world, the lure was irresistible." I found this sentiment relatable as someone who also has never fit in and whose heart has always been captivated by fairytales. Although (as far as I know) fairies do not actually exist, Christians hold on to the hope of a world far more magnificent than our earthly existence: Heaven.  For those of us enchanted by fairytales, it’s a recognition of a longing for ways that transcend the ones of this world: those aligning with God. The Christian journey can frequently resemble a solitary path, similar to Emily's experience. We may find ourselves at odds with the world around us, feeling rejected and left out. Yet, in this quest, we can discover that our hearts are not alone. Just as Emily seeks solace in the company of fairies, we too can find comfort in the promise of a better world and more specifically, in its and our Creator.

 Emily's fascination with fairies blooms from her feelings of alienation, a whimsical longing for a world that feels just a little out of reach. In many ways, Christians find themselves on a similar journey, navigating a landscape where their thoughts, words, and actions often dance to a different tune than that of the world around them. The concept of a "cultural Christian" doesn't exist; you can't have it both ways (James 4:4). As pilgrims on this earthly sojourn, Christians are citizens of Heaven, passing through a realm that is not their true home, without adopting its culture (1 Peter 2:11-12). Today's society often celebrates being "different," but this is actually frequently a pseudonym for sin in an attempt to normalize it. The true remnant consists of those willing to live out God's Word at all costs, not perfectly, but with a general aim to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever (Westminster Shorter Catechism Q1). Embracing this path often means doing what is right, even if it leads to rejection and the sting of criticism, sometimes even from fellow Christians. Consequently, the Christian journey can frequently feel lonely.

Emily writes in her journal that she has given up on making friends because she feels frustrated and exhausted from the effort. Although the Church is meant to be a unified body, it is often fractured. Because we live in a fallen world, all of our interactions are tainted with sin. Our interactions, like delicate threads, can sometimes become tangled in the thorns of misunderstanding and hurt. How often do we unintentionally hurt someone without being aware of it? The emotional scars we bear can hinder our ability to form communities and friendships. Even those who wish to make friends frequently encounter other Christians who are not receptive to welcoming newcomers into their circles or who may misunderstand or make assumptions about them. This can be particularly painful if taking the initial step to reach out was difficult for you. As a result, many of us can relate to Emily's frustration when trying to make friends, only to encounter rejection and exclusion.

Rejection can sting deeply. Feeling left out or uninvited often prompts us to question what might be wrong with us and to assume that others will automatically dislike us, which can lead to self-isolation. It's important to recognize that being mean-spirited is one thing, while being misunderstood or pre-judged is quite another. If you are a generally a kind person (although we all have our bad days), it's crucial not to take things personally. Rejection frequently stems from the other person's insecurities, past struggles, or misunderstandings and communication gaps, rather than anything directly related to us. Yes, this is easier said than done, especially when loneliness creeps in and lingers for years. So, what do we do with this pain? Do we let it fester and grow, ultimately leading to thistles of bitterness that wraps around our hearts like poison ivy? That is certainly not the path we want to take. Instead, we must have courage and be kind.

" 11 Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.

12 For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.

13 And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good?

14 But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;

15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:" 1 Peter 3:11-15

I read 1 Peter 3 earlier this year, and verses 11 through 15 changed my perspective. In this passage, Peter speaks to the early church, encouraging them to respond with kindness to their persecutors rather than reviling them. While we may not face the same intense persecution as those early Christians did, the timeless wisdom of God's Word remains relevant. We can embrace the same principle: striving to do good in obedience to God, seeking peace wherever possible, and sharing the hope we hold in Christ with everyone we meet. Proverbs 25:21-22  beautifully reinforces this idea, urging us to show kindness even to our enemies or those who may not reciprocate our goodwill. The promise here is heartwarming; there is a blessing in such acts of kindness. Matthew Henry summarizes this point well by pointing out that our efforts to win someone over can lead to reconciliation and friendship, or perhaps even prompt someone to be convicted and repent. If our kindness is met with rejection, we can take comfort in knowing that God will account for that too. When I first encountered the passage in 1 Peter, I found myself pondering, "What if the other person isn't receptive to my kindness? What if they reject it or respond negatively?" Yet, as I read on to verses 12 through 14, I was reassured that God truly has us covered. In those challenging moments, He hears our cries and sees our struggles, taking note of how others treat us in response. It’s a gentle reminder that He’s got our backs, and our role is simply to do what is right. Ultimately, the only control we possess lies in our own actions, not in how others choose to respond.

Verse 15 serves as the heart of this passage, reminding us why our actions hold such significance: we are representing Christ to this world. When others look at us, they should be able to see a distinction, a reflection of holiness that sets us apart from the noise around us. We are called to be salt and light in every aspect of our conversation, through our words, attitudes, and actions. By extending underserved grace to others, we can prevent the seeds of bitterness from taking root within ourselves. Not only should we bear a visible difference from the world, but we should also radiate the hope of Christ that fills our heart that should lead others to want that hope for themselves. You never know how a simple act of kindness, especially when unwarranted, might be the thread God uses to weave someone else's journey toward salvation.

This hope we have in Christ is something we need to remind ourselves of daily, even in the loneliness and rejection we face. Our Savior knows the pain of rejection well. Jesus faced rejection from His own people (John 1:11), including His community in Nazareth (John 4:44) and His own earthly family (John 7:3-5). God knows you intimately, even the parts you hide from the world. We can find peace in the presence of our Creator, assured that He will never abandon or reject us. Through His work of salvation, we can live to honor God and find joy in Him forever. In Christ, there is no condemnation for those truly regenerate (Romans 8:1), and we will never be separated from Him (Romans 8:39). You are never alone, reconciled to Him through Christ for eternity.

Remember that God is still sovereign over our moments of loneliness, and perhaps, He allows these feelings to gently nudge us back to our heart's true home. It’s perfectly human to yearn for a cozy corner where we belong and to seek out a community that will whole-heartedly welcome us, yet, above all, we must embrace that we belong to God. Yes, you belong to Him, and you are cherished as His own. When we turn to the fleeting comforts of the world for fulfillment, we often find ourselves feeling empty and disheartened, just as the wise words of Ecclesiastes remind us. Earthly relationships are truly blessings, yet true contentment is found in the One who loves us with a steadfast love (Deuteronomy 7:9). Being accepted by our Creator, the God of the universe, fulfills our need for acceptance. We can trust that God knows us, understands our needs, and recognizes our desire for companionship throughout life's journey. In His perfect will, timing, and manner, He will provide the fellowship we seek.

Through faith, we can embrace loneliness, finding comfort in the presence of God, who walks beside us wherever we go. No true friend given as a gift from God will lead you to go against Him, so there is no reason to compromise our beliefs in our search for community and acceptance. After all, everyone longs to feel accepted. Being mindful of the loneliness you have felt, extend an olive branch of kindness to someone new. Open yourself to the possibility of a new friend, honoring the courage it takes to put yourself out there. If your heart has grown weary from the rejection and loneliness, find comfort in the gentle pace of the Emily Wilde series, which reminds us that building true friendships takes time. As you gradually begin to open yourself up again, you might discover that you have been forming a friendship all along. No matter the circumstances, you always a companion in God. You can deepen your relationship with Him through prayer and His Word. I encourage you to begin by exploring the verses mentioned in this entry, praying for community and new friendships, while also seeking to let go of any bitterness that may have arisen from loneliness or rejection. Delve into verses about loneliness, so that during those challenging days, you can nurture your heart with encouragement and hope.

Soli Deo Gloria.