Our Love Story

As I enter this new season of life, of engagement and prepare for marriage, I can't help but reflect upon the journey that brought me here.

There's a theory called the "Invisible String" theory, which is a belief that the people who are meant to be in our lives are connected to us through an unseen thread, guiding them towards each other in a predetermined path. The concept behind the theory is true, but the theory credits the universe instead of crediting the Creator of the universe. The correct term for this concept is God's Sovereignty, meaning God is in control of every single thing in this universe from the all the stars and planets in the solar system down to the tiniest atom. This also includes God's control over our lives. As someone who can struggle with fear and worry, I love dwelling upon and discussing God's sovereignty. It is the rock I have often clung to during the storms of trials in life and during my seasons of waiting. There is such a peace in knowing that whatever happens to us has been preordained by our Holy, perfect God who works all things to our good. There aren't any coincidences or mistakes.

Since the beginning of my (not very extensive) dating journey, I have consistently asked God to give me a love story that glorified Him. God has graciously answered my prayer, but little did I realize that would mean He would be glorified in the smallest of details of the story--yes, even in the times of heartache, frustration and loneliness. Threaded throughout my love story is God's beautiful sovereignty. It's a story of how He is so personal, knows His sheep (John 10), and is intentional and detail oriented. As Elisabeth Elliot once said, "When our plans are interrupted, His are not. His plans are proceeding exactly as scheduled, moving us always; including those minutes or hours or years which seem most useless or wasted or unendurable."

When I was 11 years old, I started praying for my future husband. Little did I know that all those years I was praying for my future husband, I was praying for his salvation. Amazingly enough, he was saved around the exact same time (down to the same month) that I became a reformed Christian. God was working in both of our hearts at the same time, preparing us both as to what would come.

Besides praying for him, I would say I always loved and dreamt of my future husband. It's strange to say, but I missed Jonathan, my fiancé, before I knew him. I would wonder what my future husband would look like and what his name would be. I loved my future husband by honoring him in being considerate of him in the choices I made. Besides wanting to obey God, part of my pursuit of purity and modesty has been being mindful that one day I would meet my future husband whom I would deeply loved and wanting to keep parts of myself just for him, including my heart.

Going into dating, I knew that I was going to be intentional and only date with the goal of marriage. Although I didn't exactly stick to guarding my heart completely, I had only three boyfriends, including my now fiancé, and I didn't have many "talking" phases. Ideally, just like many other Christian girls, I would have liked to have had one boyfriend whom I would go on to marry. However, that wasn't God's plan for me, just as it is not His plan for many other Christian girls. As long as you're using dating as a means to find a husband and are God-honoring in that, I don't think there is necessarily anything shameful if, like mine, your dating history involves more than one boyfriend. Thus, I don't have any regrets, and I truly wish nothing but the best for those in my past. Just like those guys weren't for me, I also know I wasn't the right girl for them, and I hope they have a relationship currently or one day like the one I have with my fiancé. The guys in my past were necessary characters to progress the plot of my love story and led me to where I needed to be. My heart was just borrowed and it was bent a time or two before it found its rightful home in Jonathan. However, I can say it is often out of the ashes of heartache that God does His best work.

Although I will not give much detail to protect my privacy and the privacy of others (I have made it a habit/rule that I don't talk about anyone from my past), what I will share is enough to be necessary to show the glory of God and vague enough where no one except those who personally know the details will know any identities.

The proximate cause of my first date with my fiancé was heartache, not over a guy per se but more out of frustration with dating in itself and the situation I was in at the time. At the time that situation came to an end, during the phone call that ended it, I thought I would be more upset than I was, but when we hung up from our final conversation, I felt an odd sort of relief and closure. The guy in the situation was going to be my date to my law school's Barrister's Ball, but I told him I didn't want to go with him anymore, so I was stuck with an extra ticket.

No one at the time (nor really now) knew about the situation, except for my friend Emil. Emil and I met through having all of our classes together our first year of law school. We ended up in the same classes again our second year, so we continued study group throughout our second year. After preparing for our class, we would end up having time to chat, which ended up developing into a friendship. We ended up talking about Barrister's Ball, which led to me telling him about the guy who was going to be my date. After that situation ended, I called Emil and told him what happened. He was pretty mad, and we decided we would go as friends (which I didn't even go to Barrister's Ball because I ended up getting sick). From there, we became closer, and I shared my dating history with him and what I was looking for in a future husband. Towards the end of our second year of law school, I told Emil how I was in a place where I was going to focus on our upcoming last year law school and then I would reevaluate dating once I took and finished the bar exam, which would be about a year and a half later at that point. Thankfully, Emil was a good friend, and he encouraged me not to close myself off from the possibility of love.

I was so over the dating process and was starting to lack hope I was going to meet my future husband, so I took myself out of the game. In God's providence, I've recently talked to a few women in their mid-twenties through their thirties through Instagram who are currently feeling this way. They told me they found hope and encouragement in my love story, which is why I'm sharing this now. If you are in a similar position, I was in your shoes. I had no clue where I was going to meet my future husband since I thought I didn't have any outlets to find a Christian (let alone a reformed Christian) husband who shared my core beliefs/views. I had even contemplated moving out of state (I live in a different state than where I grew up and because a lot of my college and law school experience was online, I didn't know many people). I was lacking faith and being cowardly because it was easier to shut myself off to love than to take another risk and end up in frustration and/or pain. Nevertheless, God will turn all things to good (Genesis 50:20), and perhaps, I needed to be in a place where the only person left to turn to was God and, as you will see in the rest of this story, God so clearly allowed me to see that He had a plan the entire time and has been working it all out. No time was wasted and every single piece was necessary.

A few months later, my last year of law school began. It was the first week of classes, and Emil told me about a guy he met who was in his construction law class who had used his time to introduce himself to the class to talk about Christ. He wanted to set me up on a date with Jonathan, and my immediate response was "no thanks." Emil knew I was coming from a place of fear, and as Emil got to know Jonathan from the times they would talk before/after class, he knew that Jonathan was a great match for me. I'm thankful for Emil's persistence that I at least just go on one date. Jonathan on his end was interested in going on the date when Emil told him about me. When Jonathan had asked Emil for my number, I was hesitant but agreed because I had reached a point where I thought that maybe I could meet Jonathan and we could be friends (lol).

After two months of hearing about Jonathan and turning down being set up on a blind date, I was helping my mom bind homeschool curriculum into a book at a teacher resource center, and I remember the exact moment I was convicted that I needed to go on the date. I felt a calm, firm conviction that I just had to meet Jonathan. It felt important and certain, which was quite a different feeling than the typically anxious, uncertain feeling I previously had towards dating. In that moment, I remember turning to my mom, and I said to her: "I'm going to go on that date." She told me that she agreed that she thought I should go and had a good feeling about it.

Not too long after that, I received my first text message from Jonathan. He introduced himself, mentioned a book he saw on my blog that he was interested in reading, and asked me out to coffee and for a Saturday I would be available to do so. He was clear and intentional from the start. We started texting, and I was immediately smitten from getting to know him and his heart for Christ, family and tradition.

Our first date was on October 15, 2022 at a small book store that had a cute, cozy coffee cafe inside. I chose October 15th because it was the special holiday I made for myself when I was seven years old. I saw my first Broadway musical (Phantom of the Opera) and had such a great day that I decided that I would make it my own personal holiday. Each year since, I have celebrated it, even if it's been doing something small like getting a coffee to make the day extra special. In God's providence, I gained another significance to the day by it being the date of my last first date and of my dating anniversary with the love of my life.

In the past, I struggled with relationship anxiety, and I remember the amount of peace I felt the day of. There's a small video I recorded before expressing that I had a feeling it was going to be my last first date, and I'm so glad I recorded it (it's on my Instagram @bibleandhotcocoa if you would like to see). I arrived at the bookstore before Jonathan did, and I was excited yet calm. I saw Jonathan walk towards the door, and I remember the flutter of butterflies I felt when I saw how attractive he was, and I moved away (more like a borderline jog) from the door to collect myself. For the rest of my life, I will never forget the moment Jonathan walked up to me as I pretended to look at the books on the shelf, called my name, and I looked up into his maple-colored eyes for the first time. He was covered in the sunshine shining through the window, highlighting the warmth in his eyes. We proceeded to order our drinks and to talk for four hours. We were on the same page with our life goals, and it wasn't difficult for me to see the fruit of Christ working in Him. He ended up driving me home, so we were able to talk more, and the rest is history!

From celebrating my fiancé's birthday every year since he has the same birthday as my childhood best friend to being aligned on the same core values, it is without a doubt that I am marrying my soulmate. God created me just for him (1 Corinthians 11:9). He is my very best friend, and there is no one else that I would want to spend my life and raise children with. I am so extremely thankful not only for him but for the love story God has given to us. There's no way I could have ever guessed how, when and where I was going to meet Jonathan, and I think that's what makes this so much sweeter. Besides first and foremost my salvation, I know God loves me because He gave me Jonathan, and I can tell the amount of care and detail He put into bringing us together, making sure we were the people we needed to be before we actually met. I actually appreciate Jonathan so much more because of what I've been through previously. I would go through everything over again, five times over, if it would lead me to Jonathan in the end. The love Jonathan and I have have for each other is already so deep, and I know our love will grow a million times more by the time we are old and gray.

As cliche as this sounds, if you are meant to get married (which from my study of Scripture, the institution of marriage is a good thing, and I think it is more rare for someone who desires marriage to remain single their entire life), then you won't miss your future husband. No matter how old you are or where you live, circumstances aren't hindrances to God. He is the One who put them there in the first place and did so intentionally. God is a God who redeems, so it's never "too late."

"Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer." Romans 12:12

By: Juliana (IG: @bibleandhotcocoa)

Juliana is the founder of Bible and Hot Cocoa. She is a sinner redeemed by Christ. In her free time, she loves to utilize her creativity, to read classics, make homeschool curriculum for her small business on Teachers Pay Teachers and to spend time with loved ones. Juliana's favorite book of the Bible would have to be a tie between Psalms and Proverbs (as of now), and her favorite biblical figure besides Jesus is Ruth.